Today while notarizing some papers–there with my husband and father-in-law– the chatty and sweet notary asked what I did for a living. “I’m an astrologer,” I answered with a bit too much emphasis, knowing how such occupations are received at small, boutique banks in the heart of academia. My father-in-law, an otherwise intelligent and generous man, promptly laughed apologetically — a laugh which I read as “ridiculous, isn’t it?” This
Continue reading “I’m an Astrologer”: The Complexity of Naming What We Do
It’s my daughter’s 7th Birthday today. She’s such a little girl now– so full of wonder and wisdom. I am grateful everyday that she is my daughter.
I wrote this poem while on retreat in Ojai and I dedicate it to her today. I think she already knows what it took me many years to discover.
The Kiss of Sky
I sit in a rusty white chair
at the center of a grassy field.
The
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I’ve been experimenting with NOW.
I’m prone to living in THEN or SOON.
I’m prone to being very much out of the moment.
So, yesterday I found myself driving down the street saying,
“Now I’m driving down the street.”
And then I took a deep breath.
And I felt better.
The rest of the day went something like this:
“Now I’m grocery shopping.”
Deep breath.
Softening.
“Now I’m checking my email.”
Deep breath.
Feeling of well being.
“Now I’m eating lunch.”
Deep breath.
This is nice.
“Now
Continue reading Now I’m Dancing with My Kids
My friends, I am lucky enough to have spent another 36 hours here in Ojai –writing. I feel a rather profound internal shift occurring that doesn’t yet have many words. I know how important it is for me to have this time of silence and Self. I’m going to make a commitment to have this time at least once every 6 weeks. Everyone will benefit — my children, my husband, myself.
I
Continue reading From Pepper Tree Retreat
I play dead like the best of dogs. But I don’t do it for a treat. In fact, it’s quite a miserable reaction to certain stresses in my life.
Here are a few concrete examples:
If Andrew is driving and I’m sure we are going to crash (which is every 10 minutes even though Andrew is an excellent driver), I close my eyes and stop breathing.
If I am feeling something that I
Continue reading Playing Dead
~A new commitment to meet myself and you in the hammock once a week~
It’s dark. I have finally made my way to the hammock. It’s also pleasantly chilly. We just ate dinner and the kitchen and the dining room table are a mess, but I’ve decided to make my hammock date the priority. Andrew is putting Dylan to sleep. And I’ll clean up later.
As I sit in the hammock tonight,
Continue reading Hammock Monday
Anyone who knows anything about Capricorn already knows what I’m going to write. It’s impossible to convince a cute, kissing, hyper toddler that he should go down for a nap just because one has a plan for how the day should unfold.
I spent all morning working on getting Dylan to sleep. He didn’t sleep well last night and he was grumpy from the moment he awoke. He, in fact, dropped
Continue reading My Capricorn Moon Tries to Get Dylan Down for a Nap
~A new commitment to meet myself and you in the hammock once a week~
Recently I wrote about purchasing a hammock and how glorious it felt to let my whole body fall into the hold of woven rope and gravity. Over the past two weeks, we’ve had many a family gathering in the sweetness of hammock and we’ve all spent WAY more time outdoors together. (Not
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My 36 hours in Ojai still rings within me. It was a time I know will stand out in my memory. Almost impossible to capture in words, something opened in me for those hours that stretched me into a new understanding and a new sensitivity. I got a glimpse of a different way of living. I consider it such a gift.
The LAST 24 hours have been remarkably hard. When we
Continue reading Writing Poetry Again
The early hour.
The scent of something past.
The growing light in the sky.
The wisp of cloud.
The crispness of morning.
The chisel of mountain top.
The rawness of my heart.
The whisper of possibility.
The generosity of the orange grove.
The stillness that softens.
The bowl of tea.
The new face in the mirror.
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