Friend Friday – Meet Benjamin Phelan

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Meet Ben Phelan

Ben is my friend of old.

I would want him close if my life were falling apart.

He shows up–unannounced– out of the blue at the most perfect times. He never arrives when you think he will and always leaves when you think he won’t.

He intuitively understands certain life moments or journey thresholds and he is there as a guide, a support, a friend.

He — in my experience of over 15 years — has never spoken a bad word about anyone. He chooses his words with care. (This is not to say he does not think them – but he has mastered compassion in his speech).

He is equally comfortable sleeping in a car or a palatial hotel. He has friends who are homeless and friends who have plenty.

He understands what is sacred and what is not and lives aligned with his values.

He will almost never speak of himself unless I beg. I have frequently been frustrated by this.

He weeps when he senses that someone he loves is growing in a meaningful way.

In the time I’ve known him, he’s driven a car with a huge hole in the floor, a standard shift 1970 pick up truck, a VW van with a stuck horn….you get the picture.

When I was pregnant, he offered Tibetan chants to my belly. This was both hilarious and profound.

He lives everywhere and nowhere. Home is a certain Soul space. Where he physically lives means nothing to him. It’s where he occasionally puts his few belongings.

He’s one of the few people with whom I’ve had a really serious, painful, sobbing argument.

He is an artist of the highest order– a filmmaker, a singer, a poet, a lover of humanity.

When I told him about the Hello Love Experiment several years ago, he sent me this (hellolove 4 (http://sherri NULL.machighway NULL.com/~heidiros/wp-content/uploads/hellolove-4 NULL.m4a))out of the blue. I felt buoyed, understood and held. A year later, he traveled with our little Hello Love group across the country in an RV to capture the experience on film.

He would rather sit in silence with a person, connecting eye-to-eye, than say almost anything. This has sometimes made me crazy, angry or brought me to torrential tears.

He feels like a brother of old.

If in need of true, deep, accurate, objective reflection, I would call Ben. Or I would just wait for him to knock on the door because he usually knows just when I need support.

He was partners with my dear friend Elizabeth (http://sherri NULL.machighway NULL.com/~heidiros/2010/friend-friday/) for 10 years and during those years, Andrew, Elizabeth, Ben and I had some of the most deep, meaningful, sacred gatherings I’ve ever shared with another couple. They were full of celebration, depth, JOY and the urgency to grow.

This is the part Ben would hate: He is a founder and Chief Creative Officer of Luminous Media (http://www NULL.luminousmedia NULL.net/) and has won awards for his work–broadcast on BBC, PBS and many more.

Ben likes to be a bit invisible so you won’t really find much of a trace of him online or elsewhere. But you just may be sitting on a bench in a park next to a man with a kind face and you may just strike up a conversation that may just be one of the most wonderful and deep conversations you’ve had in a long while and at the end of it, you may ask him his name…and then you too might have the joy, the honor, the awakening of meeting my friend, whom I love with all my heart, Ben.