Friend Friday – Meet Ty Burrell

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On Fridays, I’m going to introduce you to my friends–one at a time.

I’m going to do this because I believe when we are introduced to someone with words from the heart, they become a part of our community. Our community grows. Our circle of care extends.

So, I’m going to introduce you to people I love. And it may inspire you. You may have something to offer. You may have a message for someone I introduce. He or she may have something to offer you. I want to offer the dance of connection. I want to grow a community that is steeped in love and inclusivity and care.

Meet Ty Burrell. (and more about the fabulous pictures later).

I first heard about Ty from my husband, exactly 15 years ago. Andrew and I met in August of ’95 at Interlochen Arts camp (http://www NULL.interlochen NULL.org) and fell crazily in love. But just 9 days after we first kissed, Andrew had to return to Penn State (http://www NULL.theatre NULL.psu NULL.edu/) to complete his last year of graduate school. He was basking in the full glow of new love (however guys do that) and somehow no one was really all that into hearing about it — no one except Ty.

Ty and Andrew weren’t great friends at that point. They were in different class years. But they were certainly friendly. Andrew ran into Ty in the first days back at school and Ty asked how he was doing. Andrew clearly had a story to tell and Ty listened with a generosity that we would later come to learn was ordinary for Ty but an extraordinary gift for everyone else.

I distinctly remember the conversation with Andrew when he mentioned how Ty had sat with him for a long time, asking him with great care and attention about how it had all come to be. I thought, “This guy sounds like a good guy. Can’t wait to meet him.”

And when I met him, just a few weeks later at a party at Penn State (and again, I remember this moment clearly) I thought, well, this is an extraordinary man. In one handshake and hello, I knew kindness, depth, strength and profound generosity.

Ty has had great success in his work and I could sing his praises the live long day about that, but there’s something else I’d really like to get at here. He is rare in his grace and humility. (Andrew teases him that he would win the self-deprecating Olympics hands down). But the thing is, it’s not just an act or something he feels he should do because he feels blessed. It’s somehow one of the most moving experiences I’ve had in friendship. With Ty, I can tangibly feel the light we all so often direct towards ourselves being turned again and again to the other. How can I say this? There’s not a shred of ‘look at me!” There is always “look at you! Look at amazing you! Look at the beauty of what you have done, thought, created.”

No one leaves a conversation with Ty feeling like crap. He uplifts. He reminds you who you are. He celebrates you. And he makes you LAUGH. A lot.

But here are some other facts about Ty in case you get to thinking he’s just a big softy. He is that, but he’s also a guys guy. He loves to fish. He spent a summer in Alaska  –not fishing — but working in the fishing industry. (You know those crazy jobs that require you to work 18 hours a day only to sleep a few and then get back at it).  He drinks his coffee black. He loves playing and watching basketball (and I suspect talks some good trash). When he’s not working, he grows a huge beard and looks like he belongs in a wagon train. And his wife Holly (http://sherri NULL.machighway NULL.com/~heidiros/2010/friend-friday-meet-holly-burrell/) says that if there is some ketchup, a leaf of lettuce, a chicken leg, horseradish and some jam in the fridge, he can make a meal out of it. He hates to throw food away, isn’t afraid of left-overs and clearly loves food combining.

I also have Ty to thank for my passionate love of GOOD cheese. I had a French dinner party about 5 years ago and he and Holly brought an extraordinary spread of the most delicious cheeses I’ve ever eaten. In that moment, my cheese life changed for good and The Cheese Store (http://www NULL.cheesestoresl NULL.com/) in Silverlake is now my best friend.

All kidding aside, though, I feel hugely grateful that Ty is in my life. (And I’m sure all his other pals would say the same). I wish for him amazing discoveries and self-revelation in his new dad-hood, more moments of inner quiet and self-compassion and an ever increasing ease and clarity as he balances all he must balance.

Finally, When I asked Ty for a photo, he sent the two above and wrote, “I’m not kidding when I say that these are the only two photos I have of myself alone.  I love them both deeply.  The first one Holly did as a joke for me and the other one I took for Holly when she was out of town and I was helping her shop for new glasses via the iPhone camera.”

Gotta love Ty.