|
|
 
On Fridays, I’m going to introduce you to my friends–one at a time.
I’m going to do this because I believe when we are introduced to someone with words from the heart, they become a part of our community. Our community grows. Our circle of care extends.
So, I’m going to introduce you to people I love. And it may inspire you. You may have something to offer. You may have a message for someone I introduce. He or she may have something to offer you. I want to offer the dance of connection. I want to grow a community that is steeped in love and inclusivity and care.
Meet Ty Burrell. (and more about the fabulous pictures later).
I first heard about Ty from my husband, exactly 15 years ago. Andrew and I met in August of ’95 at Interlochen Arts camp (http://www NULL.interlochen NULL.org) and fell crazily in love. But just 9 days after we first kissed, Andrew had to return to Penn State (http://www NULL.theatre NULL.psu NULL.edu/) to complete his last year of graduate school. He was basking in the full glow of new love (however guys do that) and somehow no one was really all that into hearing about it — no one except Ty.
Ty and Andrew weren’t great friends at that point. They were in different class years. But they were certainly friendly. Andrew ran into Ty in the first days back at school and Ty asked how he was doing. Andrew clearly had a story to tell and Ty listened with a generosity that we would later come to learn was ordinary for Ty but an extraordinary gift for everyone else.
I distinctly remember the conversation with Andrew when he mentioned how Ty had sat with him for a long time, asking him with great care and attention about how it had all come to be. I thought, “This guy sounds like a good guy. Can’t wait to meet him.”
And when I met him, just a few weeks later at a party at Penn State (and again, I remember this moment clearly) I thought, well, this is an extraordinary man. In one handshake and hello, I knew kindness, depth, strength and profound generosity.
Ty has had great success in his work and I could sing his praises the live long day about that, but there’s something else I’d really like to get at here. He is rare in his grace and humility. (Andrew teases him that he would win the self-deprecating Olympics hands down). But the thing is, it’s not just an act or something he feels he should do because he feels blessed. It’s somehow one of the most moving experiences I’ve had in friendship. With Ty, I can tangibly feel the light we all so often direct towards ourselves being turned again and again to the other. How can I say this? There’s not a shred of ‘look at me!” There is always “look at you! Look at amazing you! Look at the beauty of what you have done, thought, created.”
No one leaves a conversation with Ty feeling like crap. He uplifts. He reminds you who you are. He celebrates you. And he makes you LAUGH. A lot.
But here are some other facts about Ty in case you get to thinking he’s just a big softy. He is that, but he’s also a guys guy. He loves to fish. He spent a summer in Alaska –not fishing — but working in the fishing industry. (You know those crazy jobs that require you to work 18 hours a day only to sleep a few and then get back at it). He drinks his coffee black. He loves playing and watching basketball (and I suspect talks some good trash). When he’s not working, he grows a huge beard and looks like he belongs in a wagon train. And his wife Holly says that if there is some ketchup, a leaf of lettuce, a chicken leg, horseradish and some jam in the fridge, he can make a meal out of it. He hates to throw food away, isn’t afraid of left-overs and clearly loves food combining.
I also have Ty to thank for my passionate love of GOOD cheese. I had a French dinner party about 5 years ago and he and Holly brought an extraordinary spread of the most delicious cheeses I’ve ever eaten. In that moment, my cheese life changed for good and The Cheese Store (http://www NULL.cheesestoresl NULL.com/) in Silverlake is now my best friend.
All kidding aside, though, I feel hugely grateful that Ty is in my life. (And I’m sure all his other pals would say the same). I wish for him amazing discoveries and self-revelation in his new dad-hood, more moments of inner quiet and self-compassion and an ever increasing ease and clarity as he balances all he must balance.
Finally, When I asked Ty for a photo, he sent the two above and wrote, “I’m not kidding when I say that these are the only two photos I have of myself alone. I love them both deeply. The first one Holly did as a joke for me and the other one I took for Holly when she was out of town and I was helping her shop for new glasses via the iPhone camera.”
Gotta love Ty.
 (http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
~A new commitment to meet myself and you in the hammock once a week~
It’s dark. I have finally made my way to the hammock. It’s also pleasantly chilly. We just ate dinner and the kitchen and the dining room table are a mess, but I’ve decided to make my hammock date the priority. Andrew is putting Dylan to sleep. And I’ll clean up later.
As I sit in the hammock tonight, I am musing about some of the games I loved as a child. They were:
- The card game WAR
- The board game RISK
- Red Rover, Red Rover
These games are about winning, bashing through arms and dominating countries. Interesting. I don’t think I read as a very competitive or particularly aggressive person. But clearly there was something very Aries going on in my early years.
And I think, as I sit here suspended peacefully in the dark, that I have to reclaim a little of that childhood Aries spunk. The love of the charge. The feeling of busting through a barrier that seems impenetrable.
Here’s another game I loved as a child:
4. Sorry.
I think I loved the bubble with the dice in it and how it popped. But I find it ironic that I love the game SORRY so much. It’s an apt coda to my war like, charging self. I plunge in, full throttle, yes yes yes but then feel the hook of sorry stop me dead in my tracks.
Astrologically this is the dance of having an Aries Sun conjunct (sitting next to) Saturn. It’s also my warring planet Mars in the most peaceful and harmonious sign, Libra. I’d add that Mercury (the planet of communication) is in the gentle and rather quiet sign of Pisces.
As I charged in childhood without a care in the world, I began to hear the whispers of “but wait!”, “be careful”, “don’t hurt anyone”, “are you SURE?”
Lately I’ve been wanting to be a little sloppier, a little bolder. I’m willing to make mistakes if they are big and a result of a daring act. I want the total commitment and excitement of the charge without apology.
I’m definitely tired of nice. It’s a boring word. And it’s boring to be it. Loving, yes. Courageous, yes. Radical, yes. But nice is just covering something VITAL. It’s wallpaper over rage or passion or hunger or aspiration.
So, my hammock commitment to you tonight is a little more charge and a little less nice.
The last game I used to love
5. Scrabble.
C
H
A
R
G
E
Signing off from the hammock.
Big love to all.
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
On Fridays, I’m going to introduce you to my friends–one at a time.
I’m going to do this because I believe when we are introduced to someone with words from the heart, they become a part of our community. Our community grows. Our circle of care extends.
I love meeting someone, learning about their dreams or needs and feeling into whether I have something to offer. I love connecting people. I love helping others take the next right step in their lives.
So, I’m going to introduce you to people I love. And it may inspire you. You may have something to offer. You may have a message for someone I introduce. He or she may have something to offer you. I want to offer the dance of connection. I want to grow a community that is steeped in love and inclusivity and care.
Meet Johnny Ray Meeks. He doesn’t smoke but he loves baseball. I love the picture.
The first I heard of Johnny was 10 years ago. Andrew, my husband, was in Los Angeles (why he was there I forget) and he was going to crash at his friend’s apartment. Kellynn’s boyfriend was Johnny Ray. Come on, now, Johnny Ray? Isn’t that name evocative? I was imagining a guy from the 50’s in a black leather jacket. He had to be cool. He had to be mysterious. He had to be someone I’d want to know.
I can’t remember the first time I actually met Johnny but he was all of those things. (Well, he doesn’t own a black leather jacket that I know of). But he’s cool and quiet and I ALWAYS wonder what he’s ACTUALLY thinking. And I’m ALWAYS sure it’s something insightful and keen and funny and fascinating. And I often think that if he just said what I’m sure he’s thinking he might just save the day or have invaluable advice for how I should be living my life.
But Johnny is humble and careful with his words. And he’s the guy at the party that grills fabulous food, feeds you well, and listens to everything you have to say. Then, you go away realizing you know absolutely nothing about what’s going on in the world of Johnny.
Now, it’s important that you know that Johnny performs and teaches Improv at Upright Citizen’s Brigade (http://www NULL.ucbcomedy NULL.com/talent/view/483/johnny-meeks) in Hollywood. He started pretty much when they opened the L.A. branch. He’s brilliant. His performance group is Sentimental Lady (http://losangeles NULL.ucbtheatre NULL.com/shows/2188) and they’ve been together for four years. Sometimes going to their performances saves my week. I laugh until I cry and then I realize I really needed to do both. And when Johnny performs though he is still the listener extraordinaire, he also has a lot to say and it’s FUNNY. And dry. And wry. And unguarded. And I love it.
Johnny also co-wrote a screen play a bunch of years ago and then made the film. And it won awards. And it’s great. It’s called Alley Ball. (http://www NULL.imdb NULL.com/title/tt0486546/) And before that, he wrote a really funny, poignant play called 7 Ages. That was one of the first things I saw that he created and I thought, “this guy is GOOD.”
Anyway, you get the picture, Johnny makes me laugh and he’s hugely talented. He also constantly –without knowing it–challenges me to cajole him out of his SILENT MAN superhero self. I’m constantly bumping up against him, cracking bad jokes, hoping to metaphorically elbow him out into the open.
Not too long ago, I wanted to develop an astrology radio show. He very kindly agreed to be my co-host for a demo. Here’s a taste – Astrology Works. We wanted to do a kind of Car talk – Love Line Astrology radio show. We had a blast making the demo and he was perfect in the role of partial skeptic- total support- funny funny funny guy. I’m still hoping some version of that comes together in the not too distant future. Just because I really want to work with Johnny.
Oh and be sure to look him up on Funny or Die. He’s done a bunch of great stuff for them. I love this one (http://www NULL.funnyordie NULL.com/videos/7edef7260e/the-kevin-bacon-movie-club-from-kevin-bacon).
And okay, I LOVE him in this commercial (http://www NULL.youtube NULL.com/watch?v=Dokm2Oy1MNQ).
I wish for Johnny unapologetic thriving, passionate summit experiences, and the quiet inner knowing that he is all the things all his friends see in him — kind, hilarious, smart and…..just about to bust through to unchartered new territory.
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
Anyone who knows anything about Capricorn already knows what I’m going to write. It’s impossible to convince a cute, kissing, hyper toddler that he should go down for a nap just because one has a plan for how the day should unfold.
I spent all morning working on getting Dylan to sleep. He didn’t sleep well last night and he was grumpy from the moment he awoke. He, in fact, dropped my IPhone in the toilet to get the ball rolling.
I tried taking him on a walk. I tried lying down with him in bed. I tried holding him and singing to him. All the while I was thinking about everything I needed to get done, to accomplish, to catch up with–in short, everything I had PLANNED to do once he slept.
He wasn’t having any of it. In fact, every time I even got near the computer, he lunged at my leg and screamed. (I think the whole morning was a not-so-subtle message that he was sick of technology). In any case, I finally had a small epiphany as we were lounging on the bed. And it was this: My Capricorn moon — the part of me that wants order, achievement and constant progress just isn’t going to stand a chance in the face of a bubbling toddler asking to play with the horsey puppet. In fact, he was doing everything in his power to remind me that my Capricorn moon isn’t necessarily the way to live my life with any kind of pleasure of joy.
As I looked at him beaming at me, I realized his entire existence is a gigantic reminder that I could play my way through life just as well as I could work my way through. And strangely I suspect we’d get to the same summit. It’s just that I would be way more miserable along the way. And Dylan would be kicking up his heals, eating pizza and doing somersaults.
I had a mini moment of surrender right then. My whole body just said, “Okay! Okay! I’ll PLAY. I’ll Plaaaaaaaaay!”
I could hear the sputtering of my little dutiful Capricorn moon child. And I needed to assure her that there would be a time and a place for her need to work. But I could SEE my little bright boy kissing my one cheek and then the other and then the first again, giggling all the while. And I thought, “Now really, isn’t this lovely. For goodness sake, just chill out.”
And I did.
And that is the end of the story of the grumpy Capricorn moon and Little Boy Blue.
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
~A new commitment to meet myself and you in the hammock once a week~
Recently I wrote about purchasing a hammock and how glorious it felt to let my whole body fall into the hold of woven rope and gravity. Over the past two weeks, we’ve had many a family gathering in the sweetness of hammock and we’ve all spent WAY more time outdoors together. (Not to mention 5 am snuggling in the hammock when Dylan wakes up too early).
But my solo time there has not been as much as I’d like. So I’m beginning a weekly hammock date with myself, you and my computer. A computer in a hammock is a bit odd, but somehow works for me.
I want these dates to be without pressure, for the sake of sheer beauty and pleasure and with the flavor of a day that unfolds at its own pace with one delicious thing after another.
Having said that, as I meet you here this fine Monday, I am not yet fully melded with HAMMOCK. I’m a little inwardly rushed, a little hot and a little crinkled. My mind is racing and though my body is reclined, it is not yet relaxed.
So. I am now going to let the hammock DO IT’S WORK.
Let’s talk a little about LETTING IT BE. I want to talk a little about this because I have no idea how to do it. As I sit in the hammock, I’m looking out at our backyard and I feel myself silently listing all the things that are wrong. Here’s a taste:
- The grass is dead in many areas
- The tomato plant has withered.
- There are several piles of dirt all around the yard from a project we’re doing with the front of the studio.
- Our side deck needs yummy patio furniture and has needed it for 2 years.
- Our picnic table needs to be sanded.
I could go on. But I quite decisively won’t. Instead, as THE STATE OF HAMMOCK seeps into my bones, I want to tell you about something that happened here on Saturday morning.
Over the last 5 months, my six year old daughter has been yearning to put on the play Man of La Mancha with her friends. She rehearsed songs in the studio by herself for hours at a time. She gathered kids at school to play different parts and they rehearsed during playtime. She was determined. She started inviting people to the play before we even thought of how it might happen. Meredyth received an invitation. She wrote back and said that of course she would be there. And then asked WHEN? And WHO? And WHERE? And HOW? Meredyth and I looked at each other and knew we had to help Kate manifest this dream. So, I invited kids and Meredyth planned a week of theatre camp. And just this Saturday, they performed in our backyard. Towards the end of the 17 minute show, Kate locked eyes with her imaginary star and sang, “To Dream the Impossible Dream.” This is a moment I will NOT forget. Ever. It was vulnerable and sweet and determined and full and earnest. (Many months before when rehearsing, she’d emerged from the studio in tears telling me that the song was just too beautiful).
So, here I sit on Hammock Monday fully breathing in that moment. The windmill from the show is still up. (A ladder covered with a brown sheet and cardboard arms). The 30 family members and friends that came to see the show are still very present.
And writing this one little paragraph has softened how I’m looking at things. Ten minutes of breathing in that beauty. I could look at the pile of dirt or I could look at the still pulsing LIFE in this backyard. It’s pulsing with the sweetness of dreams fulfilled and amazing supportive friends. It’s dancing with community and creativity and dear God, yes, butterflies. (Seriously, one just flew by).
So, I’m practicing Letting it Be. Because when I can and when I do, I have hammock eyes– soft and receiving. And when I can and do, an inner rhythm begins to sound. A heart beat. A breath. A silence.
Ah yes.
That’s better.
Nap time now.
Over and out.
And big love to all.
******
Recent favorites:
The Glorious Wretchedness of Each Astrological Sign
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
On Fridays, I’m going to introduce you to my friends–one at a time.
I’m going to do this because I believe when we are introduced to someone with words from the heart, they become a part of our community. Our community grows. Our circle of care extends.
I love meeting someone, learning about their dreams or needs and feeling into whether I have something to offer. I love connecting people. I love helping others take the next right step in their lives.
So, I’m going to introduce you to people I love. And it may inspire you. You may have something to offer. You may have a message for someone I introduce. He or she may have something to offer you. I want to offer the dance of connection. I want to grow a community that is steeped in love and inclusivity and care.
Meet Kathy Blum.
I met Kathy the first summer I taught at Interlochen Arts Camp (http://www NULL.interlochen NULL.org/). We were assigned to live in the same cabin. Kath and I had dinner together the very first night. I felt comfortable with her immediately. I felt in my skin. I immediately liked her inner rhythm. It was quiet, calm and thoroughly capable.
Kath and I have been friends ever since. And it’s that same beautiful inner quiet and grace in action that moves me deeply. If I need to invoke a feeling a calm and “can do”, I think of Kath. If I need advice about how to execute something with clarity and poise, I call Kath.
And in all the years I’ve known her, I never cease to be amazed at how much she gets done. In twenty years, she has NEVER been without a job– not even for a week. (Well, yes, she takes vacations — but always with a job to which she returns). She moves from one amazing work achievement to another. And she does so with a seamless and gracious authority.
When I first met Kath she had just completed graduate school. She got her MFA in Creative Drama and Children’s Theater at the University of Texas at Austin. She was working with the middle school kids at Interlochen and they adored her.
She worked as a teaching assistant and an Assistant Professor of Theatre for a bunch of years, working in hundreds of different classrooms–seeing what worked and what didn’t. She was just getting started.
Without going through her whole resume, let me just say that Kathy eventually BUILT A SCHOOL in Atlanta. She was the Head of School for The Cliff Valley School (http://www NULL.cliffvalleyschool NULL.org/) and when she came to them, they were in a small space that was not their own. She raised the money to build a new school (6 million dollars), helped design the building and supervised it’s construction. She opened it and made sure all the parents were happy and the classes were running smoothly. Then, of course, she had a new mountain to climb.
Quite literally. She’s now living in a beautiful mountain town called Sautee Nacoochee, Georgia. And she’s the executive director of the Community Association (http://www NULL.snca NULL.org/about NULL.html). I like to call her the Arts Mayor. Her husband, among many other things, is a volunteer fireman for the town. They are growing their own HUGE garden and want to add many other animals to their already substantial number of cats and dogs. I don’t think they are going anywhere anytime soon.
One sweet story is how Kath fell in love with the town. When they lived in Atlanta, Kath and Todd used to take weekend adventures. They would head out of town on a particular road and take it as far as it would go. (Love it!) I think there was something about turning too — that they would only turn left when there was a choice. Anyway, on one of these trips, they ended up in the mountains in Sautee Nacoochee and stopped to get coffee. She went to pay and they didn’t take credit cards. Kath and Todd had no cash. They said, “No worries, just take some money out of this basket and give some next time you are in town.” Kath LOVED this. And next time she visited, she put a $20 in the basket.
Before we’re through, I also want to tell you about her artistry. She and Todd, built a 10 x10 studio out in back of their house for her to do her artistic projects. They found plans on line, laid the foundation and worked on it every weekend until it was done. Now, Kath gets to go out back and paint. And collage. And create. It’s her little artist’s haven and I think it allows her to BREATHE.
She also loves being in the big outdoors. She hikes and river rafts and camps. This, too, is her sustenance. This is what she dreams about as she’s in her 5th meeting of the day.
Kath and Juliana and I have gotten together as often as we can throughout the years. We are sisters and love our time together. We spend most of it somewhere cozy drinking tea or lattes and talking talking talking about our unfolding lives.
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
My 36 hours in Ojai still rings within me. It was a time I know will stand out in my memory. Almost impossible to capture in words, something opened in me for those hours that stretched me into a new understanding and a new sensitivity. I got a glimpse of a different way of living. I consider it such a gift.
The LAST 24 hours have been remarkably hard. When we stretch as I did, I think the resulting contraction is all the more intense. I suspect that as we practice unfurling our hearts, we stabilize more and more in a place of vastness — openness. Until then, we all get to do the dance of the see-saw. HUGE LOVE — HUGE CLOSURE. It’s an oscillation that eventually leads us to a still, quiet, vibrant, all inclusive point. But the ride until then can be a bit rocky.
As my own gentle reminder of my day of expanse, I’d like to share another poem that came out of my Ojai day. It is, as yet, untitled.
Big love to you all.
****
The vastness of my heart
today
finds its seat
in the stillness
of my willing body.
It sits
beneath my ribs
and touches
kingdoms of the possible.
My body
unfurls
in the heat
of this fiery sun.
The vastness of my heart
today
effortlessly holds
every broken place,
every fitful dance,
each one of us
struggling to unfold.
Isn’t it remarkable?
Most days
we carry this
blazing heart
only to fuel
our bodies
when
truly
it holds
the power of
ten thousand
suns.
Here,
Now,
What will you touch
with such
magnificence?
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
The early hour.
The scent of something past.
The growing light in the sky.
The wisp of cloud.
The crispness of morning.
The chisel of mountain top.
The rawness of my heart.
The whisper of possibility.
The generosity of the orange grove.
The stillness that softens.
The bowl of tea.
The new face in the mirror.
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
Yesterday, my friend Laura arrived with her son Aedan and daughter, Satya. They spent the night and had to leave today at noon. It was far too quick a visit, but it was lovely to reconnect after about 9 months. I got to meet sweet Satya for the first time and she is beautiful.
Tonight, I get to reconnect with Kellynn and Holly who I’ve dearly missed over the last months.
And tomorrow, I will spend the morning with Maria. She’s going to teach me about deep watering for my garden. (What’s left of it).
And THEN, I am leaving for Ojai for my own private little writing retreat. I get to stay two nights. I’ve promised myself it’s ME and the page. And no other phone calls or distractions. I’ll probably take myself to dinner in Ojai on Sunday night, but other than that, I want to dig deep.
it’s a full delicious weekend. I am thankful for friends and fullness. And for giving myself what I need more often. And for letting myself off the hook now and again if I don’t manage to write a friend friday on time.
Tune in next week for a glorious pal and remarkable woman — Kathy Blandin.
Big love to all.
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
It made me smile to write that title. It’s the first time I’ve smiled in a number of hours. I’m definitely on the out-of-sorts side. It’s some combination of grumpy, anxious and impatient. My house is a mess. I don’t feel far enough along with all my summer work plans. I want to be writing SOMETHING every day. And our appliances are breaking one by one.
On a completely different note, often when I do an astrology reading, my clients will say, “But this sounds so POSITIVE.” (They say this almost in distress, I might add). Then, they ask me to point out where the wretchedness lies. I say, “I can absolutely do that, but what’s the point? Let’s focus on possibility.”
I do feel that way. But sometimes I think it’s refreshing to name the dark, sticky, wretched places. With that in mind, let’s take a journey through the signs and see if we can name the places where we all turn into grumpy, anxious, impatient freaks.
I think I’ll offer the wretchedness up in the form of an inner monologue. For a complete picture of your own wretchedness, read your sun, moon and rising sign:
ARIES: Why is everyone so SLOW? Why hasn’t everything I have planned happened yet??? Hurry up. HURRY UP!! The world’s PACE is ridiculous. Okay then, I’ll just force it. I’ll just push through. I’ll just do it NOW. My head hurts. I’m mad. I’d like to punch a wall. I’d like to punch your head.
TAURUS: I’m staying in bed. And I’d like to eat a lot today. Don’t you dare think of moving me. I’ll be right here in this pile of pillows and comforters for the next 24 hours. I will be grazing on twinkies, red wine and pasta. Do NOT suggest anything else. I have made up my mind. I must and will be comfortable. Do you have any good video games?
GEMINI: Oh GOD. I have 3,000 things to do today. I’ll make a list. No I’ll make 4 different lists. Oh, is that my phone? Maybe I can talk and type at the same time. Busy. Busy. Busy. I have to think about my work. But maybe I should think about thinking about my work. I’m not sure I have time to think about it. I’m not breathing. I wonder how the breathing process actually works in the body. I’ll look that up.
CANCER: Leave me alone. Don’t say a word. Whatever you say is bound to hurt. So, just go away. I’ll be hiding in my sink cabinet. It’s dark and warm and no one will suspect I’m there. I need to think about my past and how Gertrude said that horrible thing to me when I was 7. It still hurts. It’s my mother’s fault. Why is everyone so insensitive. Do not ask me to come out. It’s dangerous out there.
LEO: Me me me me me me me glorious me me me me. Why isn’t everyone looking at me? I’m beautiful. I don’t get it. I have an extraordinary number of talents. I do everything well. Would you like to hear me sing? Do you like my hair? Aren’t I brilliant? Why aren’t I in charge of everything. I should be. WHY AREN’T I FAMOUS YET!!!!?????
VIRGO: I find your appearance in this moment to be upsetting and distasteful. Would you like me to help you look more presentable? I can edit your paper too. It’s full of typos. And have you thought about taking this supplement? It will help your complexion. It’s too bad you are such a wreck. Actually, don’t tell anyone, but it’s too bad I’m such a wreck. I think I’ll spend the rest of the day beating myself up for all my imperfections.
LIBRA: How are you feeling? I need to know so I know how I’m feeling. It’s really all about you. Who am I after all? I need you. But maybe I don’t. I really can’t decide. I think I’ll weigh my options for about 5 years. How are you now? I’m just not sure how I am. Let’s not do anything decisive. That would be unsettling. I just want to be nice. Do you like me?
SCORPIO: I’d like to sever your head from your body right now. I’m pissed. I’m really pissed. And you will pay. Did you really think you could get away with that? Guess what I can see right now? NOTHING…except RED and RAGE. The whole world is BLACK. There’s no hope. It’s all a battlefield. Why doesn’t anyone see that? It’s all over. There’s no light at the end of this very long bleak tunnel.
SAGITTARIUS: Why do I have to take on ANY RESPONSIBILITY to anyone or anything? I want FREEEEEEEDOM. I want to drive fast and follow desire. I want big risks and big adventure. And I’d rather not be bothered with OBLIGATION. And by the way, this is the TRUTH. This is how to live. I KNOW how to live. This is the ONE and ONLY TRUTH. Why doesn’t everyone get that I KNOW THE WAY. It’s annoying. I need to be SATIATED NOW.
CAPRICORN: I’m alone in the world– the only one who is responsible in any way. I’ll have to climb alone. I’ll have to do everything everyone else has no desire to do because I’m the only one capable of doing it. Of course I seem cold. I’m the only one who knows just how serious life is. Do I have to parent EVERYBODY? All the time?
AQUARIUS: I guess I’m destined to be a lone wolf. I’m so original, so unique, so authentic that there’s really no one like me. I’m really the only one that is objective about anything. Everyone else is so tied up in the morass of the emotional life. I am clear. But it kind of sucks to be so ahead of my time. I just see everything long before anyone else. I’ll just have to wait for everyone to catch up.
PISCES: Oh GOD, I’m so depressed. It’s all so overwhelming. I just want to disappear. The world is too harsh. It’s too painful. It’s too much. I feel EVERYTHING. It’s not at all like I imagined it would be. It’s just not coming together the way I hoped. I just need to numb out. Everything is falling apart anyway. I’m just going to stay home and cry for a few days. I’m so alone.
There we have it, my friends– an astrological tale of wretchedness.
Perhaps if we can laugh at ourselves a bit, we can get a little distance. I, for one, feel 100% better.
Big love.
(http://www NULL.addthis NULL.com/bookmark NULL.php?v=250&username=heidirose)
|
send an email (heidirose4 null@null aol NULL.com)
Site Meter
 (http://s35 NULL.sitemeter NULL.com/stats NULL.asp?site=S35heidirose)
|
Follow, Friend