Why look forward?

It is Tuesday afternoon
on a perfect spring day.
I am watching my husband
carry our baby daughter
along a circular mown path
around a meadow.
He lifts her to his shoulders,
disappearing for a moment
behind a tree.
They walk through
a patch of shade
and out again.
I imagine he is singing to her
or naming the flowers and birds
in the field.
She is surely laughing
or studying everything
or both.
Her perfect head
bobs up and down
through dappled light.

They could hear me if I called.
I stand and watch on the steps
of our cabin.
We are here to celebrate
five years of marriage.
When first we came,
we were newlyweds,
one year into our journey.
Now we arrive with
new life.

Soon they will return
to me,
to this little home.
Their journey will end.
Tomorrow will come.

Why look forward?
Why desire anything but this?
Why long for a moment other than now?

For now,
here now,
are flowers
and sunlight–
My husband
and child
and I–
Inseperably
dancing
in a meadow
awash with our
unabashed
love.

***

I wrote that poem 5 years ago. Now I have Dylan who was Kate’s age in this poem.  It has been raining off and on all day.

We’ve been playing together in the house. It’s Sunday. Why think of a moment other than now?

Why long for one?  This moment is complete.

On Fridays, I’m going to introduce you to my friends–one at a time.

I’m going to do this because I believe when we are introduced to someone with words from the heart, they become a part of our community. Our community grows. Our circle of care extends.

I love meeting someone, learning about their dreams or needs and feeling into whether I have something to offer. I love connecting people. I love helping others take the next right step in their lives.

So, I’m going to introduce you to people I love. And it may inspire you. You may have something to offer. You may have a message for someone I introduce. He or she may have something to offer you. I want to offer the dance of connection. I want to grow a community that is steeped in love and inclusivity and care.

I met Edie in a writing class with Bruce Gelfand (http://www NULL.brucegelfand NULL.com) about four years ago. I loved her writing immediately. And I knew I would love her too. There was something so accessible and honest about her — something tender too — and it poured through her writing.

I remember thinking that she was a little shy but also, in the next minute, thinking she was crazy strong and determined and could do whatever she set herself to do.

It wasn’t until Edie and I found ourselves in a day long writing retreat together that we actually looked across the room and simultaneously thought, “I need to know her.”

Edie was the one who took action. She called me to ask if I’d be willing to listen to chapters of a book she was writing as she wrote it. She wanted feedback along the way. The book was called “A Thousand Years of Vince Vaughn.” I LOVED the title and knew I would love working with her in this way. So, yes! I was there in a heartbeat.

Those next weeks were a blast. I’d show up and she’d read and I’d CHEER. The book was great. I couldn’t wait for the next chapter. It was fun and sexy and original. I was gulping it up.  She busted the book out and was done in a matter of months. She was unstoppable.

We rapidly became friends. Edie was one of the original Hello Love Experiment (http://www NULL.helloloveexperiment NULL.org)group. She cheered me on as I unfolded the idea of the Hello Love practice. And at one of our group meetings when someone jokingly threw out the idea of a Cross Country Hello Love Tour, it was Edie who really said “Why not?” And then it was Edie who was responsible for  organizing a huge part of the tour –hotels and money and tour stops.

Here’s another wonderful thing about Edie. The following list is just a sampling of what Edie has done since I met her almost 4 years ago: Written a novel, worked in construction management, dog-walking, tap dancing lessons, singing lessons, became a certified yoga teacher, completely gutted and designed and built a yoga studio called Shakti Box (http://www NULL.shaktibox NULL.com), participated in the Hello Love Tour and Experiment, worked with at least 10 amazing teacher/healer/body-workers all of whom required a lot of intense self-reflection and deep letting go, guitar lessons…..I could go on. She is up for anything. She says YES. She is willing to dive in and get excited and give almost anything a try.

Also, she was my true tea buddy during my pregnancy with Dylan and throughout his first year. I can’t tell you how much it meant to have someone drop by on a regular basis when I was barely leaving the house to just talk and drink tea. She drinks English Breakfast and I drink Earl Grey. (Leave lots of room for cream!)

But here’s the thing, community!! Here’s what’s making me CRAZY! Edie’s book is WONDERUL! It needs to be published. People have wanted to publish it but somewhere along the line Vince Vaughn’s people caught wind of the book and got all the wrong ideas. It’s nothing but a huge CELEBRATION and LOVE FEST for Vince Vaughn. He should do a movie of it right now. But in this world of who knows who…we need someone to CHAMPION this book for Edie!! Who knows Vince Vaughn? Who can let him know it would only be PURE SWEETNESS for him if it was published. (We’re trying to avoid the whole suing thing).

Let’s do a six degrees of separation here…

This book needs to be out in the world. And soon!

I just uploaded a couple of introductory astrology classes from the last session I taught. They cover the basics of signs, planets and houses!

If you’re at all interested in starting to learn this wonderful language, check them out here!

I have classes running now. It’s not too late to join.

LOVE!

Recently I had the opportunity to RAGE at someone who willingly and lovingly received it. It was part of an exercise at a workshop I attended 3 weeks ago. So often exercises like this simply do not TRANSLATE when one describes them outside the workshop. But let me simply say this: It was life-changing.

I was SURE I didn’t want to rage. In all my life, I really have never screamed at someone –unless it was in an act or in jest. I was certain, in fact, that I didn’t have it in me to outrageously YELL at someone for a period of time.  Well, I did. And I loved it. I was high for days. In fact, my partner and I were in tears by the end of the exercise. He, I’m sure, would say it was life-changing for him as well.

Here’s the deal. I know I have inwardly raged. I have RAILED against someone or the world silently. But I have never let it FLOW. And really, it’s such a strange LIMIT I placed on myself for decades. It’s not that I think everyone should run around screaming at one another. Rather, I think that we should be willing to explore the territory where we think, “Oh no, that’s just too much. I couldn’t do THAT.”

Here’s a poem I shared with my women’s group several months ago. Many of the women couldn’t stand it. They felt it was TOO much. But then after we all sat with it for awhile– and after, in fact, I read it out loud and they all let their bodies MOVE to it, something wonderful happened and they began to embrace the “too muchness” of it.

Dithyramb of a Happy Woman

Anna Swir

Song of excess,
strength, mighty tenderness
pliant ecstasy.
Magnificence
lovingly dancing.

I quiver as a body in rapture,
I quiver as a wing,
I am an explosion,
I overstep myself,
I am a fountain,
I have its resilience.
Excess,
a thousand excesses,
strength,
song of gushing strength.

There are gifts in me,
flowerings of abundance,
curls of light are sobbing,
a flame is foaming, its lofty ripeness
is ripening.
Oceans of glare,
rosy as the palate
of a big mouth in ecstasy.
I am astonished
up to my nostrils, I snort,
a snorting universe of astonishment
inundates me.
I am gulping excess, I am choking with fullness,
I am impossible as reality.

******

I love this idea — “impossible as reality.”

To me, it reads that everything I consider almost impossible–exhibiting emotional extremes or running a marathon or actually articulating clearly in every moment what I think or feel or want — all these things are very real and very possible if I just choose to  push past the careful limits I set for myself too long ago.

(Friend Friday returns next week!)

Andrew, my husband, surprised me with tickets to see the wonderful poet, Mary Oliver, at Royce Hall last night. We barely made it. The entire family has been down and out with the flu. But I gathered myself, knowing he’d planned this surprise for 2 months, and hoisted myself into the car.

I’m so glad I did. Mary Oliver is exquisite under any circumstances, but after two days of complete surrender and delirium, there’s something even more potent about the simplicity of her message. She speaks directly to the yearning heart. She speaks directly to the part of us that knows that every moment, there is beauty to be feasted upon. The world is remarkable, she says. Stop to breathe it in. Respond to it, she says. Let your heart feel the world.

Mary Oliver is particularly in love with her dog, Percy. She read us four poems about Percy last night. She says she’d like to make him famous. (She has a great and delightful sense of humor). Here are two poems about Percy that leave me feeling light and thankful.

Percy (Nine)

Your friend is coming I say
to Percy, and name a name

and he runs to the door, his
wide mouth in its laugh-shape,

and waves, since he has one, his tail.
Emerson, I am trying to live,

as you said we must, the examined life.
But there are days I wish

there was less in my head to examine,
not to speak of the busy heart. How

would it be to be Percy, I wonder, not
thinking, not weighing anything, just running forward.

******

I Ask Percy How I Should Live My Life (Ten)

Love, love, love says Percy.
And hurry as fast as you can
along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust.

Then, go to sleep.
Give up your body heat, your beating heart.
Then, trust.

On Fridays, I’m going to introduce you to my friends–one at a time.

I’m going to do this because I believe when we are introduced to someone with words from the heart, they become a part of our community. Our community grows. Our circle of care extends.

I love meeting someone, learning about their dreams or needs and feeling into whether I have something to offer. I love connecting people. I love helping others take the next right step in their lives.

So, I’m going to introduce you to people I love. And it may inspire you. You may have something to offer. You may have a message for someone I introduce. He or she may have something to offer you. I want to offer the dance of connection. I want to grow a community that is steeped in love and inclusivity and care.

Meet  Meredyth Hunt

Meredyth is kick ass. She is one of the most highly capable, wildly expressive, playful friends I have.

Let’s break it down. When I first met Meredyth, we were studying hand analysis with Terry-Linn Snider. Meredyth was Terry-Linn’s assistant and helped to facilitate the entire class. She was gloriously organized, very serious and completely committed. This is the role I usually play in a group. I was somehow deeply relieved that I didn’t have to play the role and also hugely impressed with the way she held the room. So, first off, if you want to get something done in an incredibly organized fashion with a ton of integrity, Meredyth is your gal.

Now, little did I know what hid underneath Meredyth’s composed demeanor. She’s a wild woman — in every best sense of the word. She is prolifically creative and DARING.
(Did you notice I capitalized all those letter?) It goes something like this: She has an idea, let’s say, for a little performance. It’s usually a bolt out of the blue– a very intuitive hit. She walks out on a limb, dresses the part, and creates something extraordinary. She  surprises and enlivens and leaves everyone laughing way too hard.

The picture above is from my daughter Kate’s 5th birthday party. She created a party for her that no one will soon forget. Her entrance was out of a 7 foot, welded (and then covered in paper and glue and chicken wire) egg. She emerged as some extraordinary bird. The faces of the children were not to be believed.

I could go on about the party, but let’s put it this way. Are you wanting to throw an unforgettable, completely original shin-dig to celebrate something or someone?
CONTACT MEREDYTH. She’s like a party planner with a brilliant twist. She’s both the ‘talent’ and the ‘suit.’ That is, she entertains like no one’s business AND she’s also fully capable of keeping the show running on time without a glitch.

Okay, what else? Meredyth is also an amazing hand analyst. Want to know about your life lessons? Want to get a glimpse of your life purpose? Want to learn whole new skill sets to make your life work better? Have a reading with her. Check out her site.

Finally, let me say that Meredyth is like a great natural force. She can envelop you in her big love. Feeling a bit rattled? Need some grounded, deep loving care? Meredyth knows how to wrap herself around you and breathe stability back into your whole being.

In short, I hope you get to know Meredyth if you don’t already. I hope you get to brainstorm with her, create with her, play with her. She is one of my daughter’s favorite people. And I think that says a lot.

Get a hand reading! Use her to plan something extraordinary. Tap into this bottomless well of creativity and brilliance.

Fear occurs when love stops short of infinity.

-Sofia Diaz (http://www NULL.sofiayoga NULL.com) (And maybe first, Adi da)

We can change.

We do change.

It’s glorious to change.

I am ripe with the full, flowing CHANGE present in my life right now.

Too often, I hear, we are stuck. We won’t change that much in our life time. We are stubborn and ill equipped.

I’m here to say that change is rippling through my body and changing me at a cellular level.

And it’s a simple change on a certain level.

It’s a subtle inner change– but it’s making all the difference in my life.

It’s about the beauty of receptivity and flow. It’s about welcoming and riding a full emotional spectrum.

It’s about the bliss of intimacy and true connection.

It’s about bodily PLEASURE and exquisite receptivity.

I am changing as I write. Every moment a new cell in my body is shifting and saying “Yes! Yes, I will open. Yes, I will open to love.”

My body is turning to light.

I am changing.

______

I love this poem. My friend sent it to me. HER friend from childhood wrote it and shared it with her.

The change that I feel is glowing in this poem. It’s by Ingrid Goff-Maidoff.

***

OUR POEM WHICH IS INFINITE

(a love poem for my husband)

Tonight your words draw me back

into the poem in which we are living.

It is a rich and merciful poem

and it spins its warm story around us

drawing our bodies down

into the urgency of our belonging.

How is it that we, neither holy nor wise,

could live in this beautiful poem?

It is the fire we tend with our kindling,

the table we cover with bread,

the altar we make bare for offerings,

the pitcher we empty and fill.

On Fridays, I’m going to introduce you to my friends–one at a time.

I’m going to do this because I believe when we are introduced to someone with words from the heart, they become a part of our community. Our community grows. Our circle of care extends.

I love meeting someone, learning about their dreams or needs and feeling into whether I have something to offer. I love connecting people. I love helping others take the next right step in their lives.

So, I’m going to introduce you to people I love. And it may inspire you. You may have something to offer. You may have a message for someone I introduce. He or she may have something to offer you. I want to offer the dance of connection. I want to grow a community that is steeped in love and inclusivity and care.

Meet Elizabeth Rainer.

She has been my true blue dear sweet buddy for 20 years. I met her in Grad School.

I was one year ahead of her and was assigned to help welcome her to the school. I was her “buddy.”  We’ve been supporting each other and nudging one another to grow and celebrating life with one another ever since. She was at the births of both of my children.  She was with me when my Grandmother died.  She has documented (in photos) every major event of my life for the last 20 years.

Elizabeth is an artist. She is a brilliant actress as well as a visual artist. She leaves beauty in her wake. She is also a bit of a white witch and knows how to create magical rituals, helping others to celebrate major life moments.

She is a listener extraordinaire and a fierce protector of those she loves.

She is strong and works harder than almost anyone I know. She wants to grow, to excel and to deliver excellent work.

Elizabeth has recently moved to NY to be with her fiance and his children. Her home life is thriving and now she is searching for the next right opening in her career.

She is looking for right livelihood. She is looking to manifest tangibly. LIke so many of us, she is searching for the meeting of her gifts and a sustaining salary!

So, do you live in New York?

Do you know someone who needs someone amazing like this in her/his employ?

Do you need a beautiful piece of art or an original card?  (Visit Elizabethrainer.com (http://www NULL.elizabethrainer NULL.com))

Do you know someone she should meet? Just because you have a feeling she should….

As a community, let’s brainstorm and see what emerges….

Big love to you all.